Diapers Coming Out My Ears

So we happened to be in Sam's Club yesterday,waiting for the car guys to balance our tires. We were wandering around killing time, when a woman with a cart FULL of boxes of diapers stopped us as she walked past. She said that Pampers Cruisers were on sale for $8. She also said "my kids don't even wear diapers anymore, but it's such a good price, I had to buy some, I'm sure someone I know can use them."

As we walked over to the diaper section, I tried to do the math in my head. It made absolutely no sense. I was pretty sure even the smallest package of Pampers costs more than $8 (wasn't positive, because I don't usually spring for name-brand diapers).

Sure enough there were 160 ct boxes of pampers diapers for $8 each. They originally cost $38. I still couldn't fathom it. I just stood there staring for a while, occasionally adding a box to my cart.

More and more women were beginning to congregate in the diaper aisle. They began to fill their shopping carts full of diapers, even if they didn't have a child to put inside all those diapers. One woman was wearing a blue tooth earpiece, calling all her friends, taking their diaper orders. Another woman, whose cart contained two children and two giant bags of tri-colored rotini began to fill her cart full of diapers. There were women everywhere, talking on the phone, loading their shopping carts full of diapers, it was near pandemonium.

A man walked by to tell us that there were Snickers and M&Ms on sale on the next aisle. Boxes of 24 ct Snickers for $2.48. THAT'S 10 CENTS A BAR. 45 oz boxes of M&Ms for 1.83. My heart began to race. Seriously. I felt so silly. But I got over it and grabbed a few boxes of Snickers and a couple bags of M&Ms.

I texted a friend and called my sister-in-law to see if they wanted me to get them some very cheap diapers and went back to grab a few more boxes. By then, the stack of diapers had been greatly diminished. Blue Tooth was filling her second cart, her poor kids trying to find room to sit in their cart with all those boxes. Tri-colored Rotini was also filling her second shopping cart. Another woman kicked and shoved one more box into the undercarriage of her cart. The aisle was packed with women on their cell phones talking a mile a minute grabbing boxes and boxes of diapers. I can only assume that their hearts were also racing from the adrenaline rush of snagging such a sweet deal. I snatched the last three boxes of size three diapers for my sister-in-law, still dumbfounded, hoping I was buying enough.

The checkout line was just as chaotic. Just imagine loading two shopping carts full of diapers onto that conveyor belt whilst being hopped up on adrenaline. I have to say I felt bad for the checkers as the crazy diaper-buying women came through the line.

We left the store with 12 boxes of diapers, 2 great big bags of M&Ms, and 5 boxes of snickers. That's right. I bought 120 Snickers bars yesterday. As we drove home, my heart was still racing. We speculated: Is this some sort of social experiment? Were we being video taped? And what's the catch?

Well... the Snickers are all nuts and caramel-no nougat (I might like them better that way), and the M&Ms are limited edition "team color" red and white (maybe from the super bowl?) but they still taste fine.

As for the diapers, I still haven't figured it out. But I'm feeling pretty fortunate. I bought 450 dollars worth of diapers for 96 bucks. And my Little Lady is sittin pretty in her fancy new name-brand diapers. Ka Chow.

Now I just have to find a place to put them....